Dear Pixar,
I recently saw your movie UP (on bootleg of course... my asian people sell that shit on the streets of Chinatown for $5 bucks). Anyway, like all your movies, I enjoyed that shit. For real son. That asian kid you casted as the boy scout was mad tight yo. That kid got real talent, like Short Round from Indiana Jones and the Goonies. Not only that, you also took the risk of making his mom a single parent, thus avoiding the stereotype that asian parents stick even if they f-ckin' hate each others guts. Nice. That's progress.
But why'd you make him fat? Asian kids are mad thin and shit. (see second picture) And for real, we don't play went it comes to saving the day. Why do you think asians are never in horror movies? Seriously, put an asian guy in a horror movie and we would figure that shit out in a sec(there's probably some math equation for it). There won't be any separating to search for the killer. No sir. No one bullet knock down. We double tap (to the head) to make sure that dude stays down. And teamwork... please.. we invented that shit. We seriously redefined the term "taking it for the team". There won't be any arguing for who's in charge. Just plan old efficiency. Kinda like Germans, without all that kinky sex shit. And as for the final battle with the killer. None of this one-on-one bullshit. Ever wonder why no one fights an asian dude? It's cause we know martial arts. OK, that's half true... it's cause the second you even touch an asian dude.. a million of his closest friends will come out of nowhere and jump you. I can't even explain it, it's true. It's like the Thundercats call or something. Millions of asians would stop what they are doing(dry cleaning, accounting, running a fruits and vegetable stand, medical related shit) and just instinctively go to help. Killers or criminal masterminds wouldn't even have a chance. Oh and that bird in the movie UP... the asian kid would of eaten it.
Sincerely,
Quiet Asian Man
